Greetings from FOCUSed Father land! I never intended to let this much time pass between blogs (10 months). No excuses, just the way it is. I find it a little ironic that I am writing this almost one year to the date that I vowed to blog more regularly ("Process and Planning," April 20, 2009). No promises this time, but hopefully more regular blogging in 2010...assuming I have something worthwhile to share.

The last 16 months has been filled with several challenges for our family.

Cancer paid two visits to us in 2009...our sister-in-law Angie (more later in this blog), and my father Dave (the REAL FOCUSed Father....colorectal cancer found early...succesful surgery in August...no follow up treatment necessary...he's doing great).

Job loss. Perhaps the best thing to happen to us last year was my layoff in May which, although scary at the time, paved the way my new employment at Federated Investors, based in Pittsburgh, PA. No, we didn't have to move. I am doing the same type of work I've been doing for the last 10 years, and cover MN, ND, SD, and WI, and office out of our home. I started with Federated August 31st, which means I had the summer off. Special time with Beth, Emily and Kate! Federated is simply a wonderful company to be a part of, and I am enjoying work more than I have in several years.

Grandparent passings. Beth and I both lost grandparents in 2009. Grandma Ruby (Beth's father Fred's mom) passed away in May, and my grandpa Ken (my mom's dad) passed in December. They were both very special, and led long, full lives. We miss them dearly.

A brief update on Angie. Many of you are aware of my sister-in-law Angie's cancer journey over the last year. For those of you who aren't, here's the extremely short version: Stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis, February '09. Double mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation. Cancer determined to have metzed to brain. Brain surgery. Brain radiation, ending early January 2010. I am pleased to report that currently she is cancer free, and enjoying NOT going for treatment every day. The surgeries and treatments have taken a toll both physically and emotionally, but our family is greatful to be where we are today. For a more complete picture, please visit CaringBridge.org, and type in angiehegele. My brother-in-law Steve has done an amazing job keeping everyone up to speed on the journey. Turns out, in addition to being the best public speaker I know, he is an incredible writer as well.

A few quick, random thoughts:

Tiger Woods - No real childhood. Unlimitted financial resources. Lots of free time. Private jet. No real guidance since his father's death in 2006. A "me first," "me-second," and "me third" mentality. No moral compass. That's how it happened. So sad.

Haiti Relief Efforts - A few weeks ago, along with Emily and Kate, I helped package 1500 relief kits for Haiti, where they continue to deal with the earthquake's aftermath. In the basement of our church about 100 adults and children gathered to help people we will never meet. Our church has a great history this type of outreach, as I'm sure many of your churches do. I share this with you because it reminded me of the power of the human spirit. Yes, our world is challenged in many ways these days, but don't forget about the incredible volunteerism occuring. It doesn't lead the nightly news, or headline the online news sites, but it's there, bigger and better than ever.

Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk - I am signed up to walk 60 miles in 3 days in August. More to come on this...it is worthy of it's own blog. This is a fundraiser, so expect me to be asking you for a donation....just preparing you.

What I know for sure - In the wake of the most challenging year of my life, I know that God is with me. I know that my family loves me. I know people will stand by you in your time of need. I know that every day is a gift, and must be lived with that in mind. I know that Emily goes to college in less than 5 years. I know that until then I need to maximize every day, minute, and second with her. I know that I am lucky to be married to an incredible women for nearly 18 years. I know that the future is uncertain, but with God and my family by my side all things are possible.

I hope your 2010 is off to a good start. Look for me on Kare11 television in the near future. I'll be back to you when the date is firmed up.

My Best,

Chris

June 12th marked my one month anniversary of being layed off.  Certainly not something to celebrate, but noteworthy nonetheless.  There are events in life that cause you to take a step back and evaluate where you have been, where you are, and where you are going.  For me, this is one of them.

A few observances I can share.  First, the last year and a half at my job in the investment world was extremely stressful.  The stock and bond markets were insane, and the culture at my company was not consistent with my core values.  I can't remember a more turbulent time in my post college working career.  At times I really didn't enjoy my job.   At times I hated my job.  I wasn't sure if I no longer enjoyed the work, or if I didn't enjoy doing the work for the company I worked for.  Since my lay off I have thought a lot about this, and I have come to the conclusion that it's mostly the latter.  The outpouring of support from the advisors I worked with has been very reassuring.  At the end of the day, my work has been about building relationships, and to see those relationships intact despite not carry a business card tells me I was having an impact.  In fact, the two most promising job leads I have received came from advisors I worked with.

The second observance I will share is a reminder that people will help, you just need to ask.  This is something I talk about in The FOCUSed Father.  We all need help along life's journey.  I am so grateful to everyone who has been willing to sit down with me in the last month to share ideas and personal contacts.  The advice I will give to anyone else (and there are millions) in my shoes is that you need to network, network, network.  Meet with with smart, connected people.  It's not about them being able to give you a job.  It's about people making connections for you.  The more connections, the more opportunities will be revealed.  Remember, asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness!  And, some day you will be on the other side, helping others.  I would also like to thank Beth, Emily, and Kate for their unwavering support in this time of uncertainty.  I am happy to report that our collective attitudes are very positive, and we are laughing a lot.  While unsettling, this job loss is not the most challenging situation are family has faced this year, and this fact provides a healthy dose of perspective.

A quick update on the job hunt.  I am in serious conversations with a few companies that would lead me back to the same type of job I had.  Not that I am superstitious, but I will refrain from sharing details at this point.  I am very hopeful that one of these will come to fruition in the near future.  Your prayers are appreciated.

Father's day is a week from today.  Start thinking about how you will honor your father this year.  Don't let this father's day be the same old same old.  Do something different.  I will give you a couple ideas on my Kare11 TV appearance at 5:50 am on Wednesday, June 17th.  Also, use this Father's Day as a gut check for your role as a father (or mother for that matter).  Are you "there?" Are you "connected?"  Are you living your priorities?

Keep checking the site this week, as I intend on blogging more frequently leading up to Father's Day.

Last Monday, May 11th, I received an email from my boss at 5:00 pm asking if I could make an 8:00 am call with him on Tuesday morning.  He and I hadn't connected for a few weeks and so I believed that he just wanted to make sure we were on the same page with regard to activity in my territory.  About 20% of me thought that DWS might be going through another round of layoffs, and maybe I was about to become a casualty of the econonic downturn our great country has been dealing with. 

The call started like this: "Hi Chris, it's Rich.  Is this still a good time for you to talk?  I need to let you know that I have Shirley from Human Resources with me....."  When HR is in the room, it's rarely a good sign (not a commentary on those who work in the field...lot's of great people in HR).  My position was eliminated and I now join the growing ranks of layed off Americans.  Did I see it coming? Not really.  I have believed for some time that DWS would probably see additional cuts (the first round was December '08), but thought I would probably make it.  That said, I wasn't 100% convicted in that belief, so the news was not shocking.

A few days before "the call" I was in private prayer and asked God for a little direction for my life.  More specifically I requested a sign that would give me an idea of where I should be focusing my energy.  "But God, please don't make it a vague sign...I need something really obvious."  Prayer answered.

Where does this leave me?  Obviously this is not a good time to be looking for a job.  However, I strongly believe that this door closing will allow me to open a new one(s).  My glass remains more than half full, and I am looking forward to Beth and I writing the next chapter in life's journey.  I do not define my success in life by the business card I carry, and therefore being layed off is not devastating for my self worth.  Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be employed and there have been, and will continue to be, some emotional moments.  However, my family has been dealing with bigger issues over the last few months, and those circumstances provide great perspective on what's truly important.

Little did I know on February 12th when I went on the KARE 11 Sunrise program to discuss how to talk to your children about the recession that I would be required to embrace my own advice so soon.  I gave the viewing audience the following ideas:

1. Open communication and frequent conversations.

2. Make a conscious effort to increase family connecting time.

3. Reach out to serve others.

4. Keep a positive attitude.

Since "the call" last week I feel like we are doing pretty well with this list.  I am pleased to report we are laughing a lot more about my unemployment than we are crying.  Beth, Emily and Kate have all been extremely supportive despite their own fears about the future.  I am so very blessed.

Where to from here?  On Monday (May 18th), after applying for unemployment benefits, I begin my job search.  Perhaps I will continue in the investment industry with the same type of job.  Perhaps I will find myself in a new field altogether.  I am not ruling out  anything at this point.  A few things I know for sure: 1. God has big plans for me.  I need to live up to them.  2. I now have more time to devote to spreading the FOCUSed Father mesage.  Over the last year I have been given many great ideas for FF, but due to the intense nature of my "day job" I have implemented very few of them.  I am looking forward to developing a workshop series for churches, seeking out speaking opportunities at corporations and churches, partering with other like minded individuals to spread FOCUSed Father  from coast to coast, and definitely more blogging. 3. I will need help find a new job, and help with FOCUSed Father.  I just might be calling you.

I will close with a quote from one of my favorite songs.  Leann Womack's song "Dance" includes the line "when you get the choice to sit it out or dance....dance."

See you on the dance floor!

Once again, it has been far too long since I blogged at focusedfather.com.  I could give you some excuses like I've been really busy at my "day job," or we've had a lot on our plate lately from a family standpoint.  And while both would both be true, they would merely be reasons given to make me feel better.

As part of the growth of FOCUSed Father, my goal is to be an active blogger, sharing thoughts and ideas on parenthood on a frequent basis.  Instead, it's been once every few months at best.  Why? The real answer is that I have no repeatable process that I am following, and I have no real plan.  What I am realizing is that this is true of other aspects of my life that aren't where I want them to be.

Business has been tough in the investment industry.  Some things are out of my control, but the processes and plans I follow are fully in my control.  I am updating my plan, and renewing my commitment to follow the processes.

Life in the Berg house has been very "active" lately.  We are moving in many different directions, often in the same day.  To make sure we are all on the same page, we have posted a dry-erase large calendar in our laundry room.  Everyone is responsible for putting their activities, events, etc. on the calendar.  Having a family calendar is something I have advocated for some time, and I feel good that we have finally implemented it as part of our famly plan.  A new process for all the Bergs to follow!

FOCUSed Father has also been a casualty of not following processes tied to a well thought out plan.  I am nearing completion of an updated plan for vaulting FOCUSed Father to the next level.  For some reason that cliche, "failing to plan, is planning to fail," keeps running through my mind.

A couple questions for you and your parenthood journey:

Do you have a plan for being present in your children's lives on a daily basis?

For those of you with younger children, have you created a bedtime routine(plan)?

Do you plan to eat family meals during the week?

Family calendar?

In closing, look for more frequent Berg Blogs as part of a renewed effort to develop plans and follow processes.

As many of you know, my primary occupation today is in the financial services industry.  I meet with financial advisors in Minnesota, and develop relationships with them.  When they use my company's mutual funds and structured products as solutions for their clients, I am doing my job well.

Part of the value I bring to advisors is insight regarding what our economists and strategists believe will happen in the future.  As you might imagine, given the historic, unprecedented nature of what took place last year in the investment world, advisors are even more interested in what I have to say about 2009.  However, the question they are asking me is not, "what do your people think the market will do this year?" No, the question they have been asking me for the last few months is, "What's next? First, we had Bear Stearns, then we had Fannie and Freddie, then we had Lehman brothers, then sub-prime loan crisis and real estate situation, etc, etc. etc...What is the next industry to collapse?"  My answer has been something like this: "I don't know what the next industry is, but what I do believe is that people have no idea how big layoffs are going to be."

That was my message going back to mid November, and every week that goes by we continue to see massive layoffs and companies going out of business (Circuit City is the one at the top of my mind).  I am sure everyone reading this knows someone affected by corporate layoffs.  My company had a round of them in early December, and some wonderful, talented people are now looking for jobs.  One of the companies I work closely with, Ameriprise, announced last week that 300 employees were being layed off.  Again, I know some great people who are now looking for work.  I wish I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but unfortunately I believe we have quite a ways to go.

So, are you prepared?  What would you do if tomorrow you learned that your position had been eliminated?  Do you have an updated resume? Do you have a list of people you would call to start networking with?  Have you thought about what you would say to your children?  Would you panic and take out anxiety and frustration on your family?  Maybe you are thinking that this would never happen to you.  Your company is too strong.  You are too important to the company to be let go.  Your industry won't be affected by the economic downturn.  Your company hasn't even hinted at reducing the workforce.  Maybe in a "normal" recession that thinking might be acceptable.  But, in case you haven't noticed, nothing is normal about our current situation.  Events happened last year that have never happened before.  I realize that this blog is getting a little (okay, a lot) depressing.  My intention is not to scare you any more than you already are.  The United States continues to be the greatest country on the planet.  It looks like we have a new President who is ready to attack the problems we are facing.  This nation will recover. 

I hope you don't lose your job.  However, be prepared in the event that you do.  Start thinking about what you will do, what you will say, and how you will conduct yourself.  Showing your children how to deal with adversity is a great gift.  These truly are unprecedented times, and for you they may present unprecedented opportunities to teach and lead your children. 

I will leave you with a parting bit of encouragement.  As my daughter Kate told me a few years ago when I let her know I was a little nervous about an upcoming presentation, "Keep your chin up and charge the mountain!"